If you have a healthy romantic relationship with no obvious issues, skip this article. If not, you’re not alone. Millions of women and men are involved in marriages and romantic relationships that make them miserable. If you’re constantly crying, depressed, angry, frustrated and disappointed, it’s time to move on.
Love is a wonderful gift that’s available everywhere! Why stick around to be neglected by someone who’s not into loving YOU? If the signs below apply to your relationship, it’s time to start changing your thoughts! Focus on moving toward a future without your mate. Who knows what happiness and joy you are missing? You’re stuck with someone who is too dense, busy, or selfish to share their love with you. Here’s how to tell if your mate no longer loves you.
1. He or she stops answering your calls. When a mate stops answering the phone when you call, no matter how many clever excuses he or she produces, look beyond the lies. If she says, “I left my phone in the car…” then there’s a REASON she left it there; she didn’t want to talk to you.
If he says, “My phone was dead…,” although you know it’s a possibility, if it happens more than twice, you need to wake up! Men and women aren’t stupid. When you’re in a relationship, you’re aware that your significant one wants to contact you. If your lover denies your calls, turns off the phone or does not text back, he or she is doing things that are “none of your business,” and “they don’t feel like talking to you…” Does that sound like love to you?
2. He or she refuses to spend quality time with you. If the bedroom is the only place you see your lover, it means your relationship is strictly sexual. If he or she is not joining you for dinner and a movie, drinking and dancing, family barbeques and/or concerts and sporting events, it means one of two things: Either you’re a secret lover, or your mate does not consider you worthy of his or her “fun time.” Does that sound like love to you?
3. You suffer abuse at the hands of your significant one. Of course, if you’ve been hit by your mate, your relationship is in trouble. For women: If your man hits you (even once) he does not respect or love you. Maybe he thinks he does, but he doesn’t. Look at his life and the people in it. Can you think of a person that he would never hit? Would he hit his mother? What about his grandmother? Would he punch his daughter in the face?
Some men wouldn’t even hit a dog that they love; let alone a woman. Do you know what happened to NFL star Michael Vick when he was caught letting dogs fight each other? He went to prison. For mistreating DOGS!!!! Think about that for a second. Are you less worthy than a dog? People really care about dogs, don’t they? Whole organizations are devoted to protecting the rights of animals. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN A DOG.A man who loves you will never slap, punch, kick, push, choke, rape or beat you. Besides, not only are you not loved, you could end up dead.
Men/Women: Although male abuse is less common, it happens and it’s wrong. The same advice applies to you. A woman who hits you thinks you’re a piece of trash. She doesn’t love you. She may want to keep you around. But ask yourself why? If she’s hitting you or calling you names, she is not in love. When a woman is in love, she looks past all of her man’s faults and uses her words to build him up. She is proud of the man she loves, no matter how imperfect he may be. So a woman who gets angry and uses her hands in violence toward you is NOT IN LOVE!
If he or she abuses you verbally, you are not loved. A person can say, “I love you” all day long, but if they also say mean, sarcastic, offensive, derogatory, belittling, embarrassing, teasing, taunting, profane, undermining, de-motivational, depressing, hurtful things to you on a regular basis, he or she does not love you. A man or woman who loves you is always considering your feelings. If a man or woman loves you, he or she won’t say, “you’re too sensitive.” Love is a decision. Loving you requires protecting your heart. If the person is not protecting your heart, but he or she is constantly saying, “I love you,” there are two possible explanations. He or she is either A] Highly ignorant about what love is and the responsibilities it demands, or B] Lying because they want the relationship to continue for selfish reasons. Before you start trying to figure out which one applies to your mate, STOP! You deserve better. When a man loves a woman, he’ll GO FIND OUT how to do everything it takes to keep her. So ignorance is no excuse. When a woman loves a man, she will make damn sure that he KNOWS! Women are emotional. You should never have to wonder if a woman is in love. If there’s a doubt, it’s time to get out.
4. You are not a priority. If your mate has told you he or she “just doesn’t have enough time…” for you, it means you’re not important to him or her. Your mate will probably never admit it. But the truth is that when someone loves you, they make time for you. They care about what you want. If they don’t know what you like, they do their research and find out. Then, they do everything in their power to make sure you get what you want. No platonic friends, homeboys or homegirls are above you on their list of important people. A person who loves you prefers you over all others.
5. Your mate doesn’t come home/can’t be reached at night. No matter what the excuse, if you’re sleeping alone at night and you don’t like it, but your mate always seems to have fun that lasts until daybreak, you’re not being loved. Everyone sleeps. If your man’s not at home, won’t answer his phone, but later admits to ”hanging out all night,” chances are, he’s spent the night with another woman(or man!). If your lady is constantly “staying at her friend’s house,” but she never answers her phone when you call at night, WAKE UP! She’s already spending time with another man. You’re not loved. A woman or man who loves you wants to lay down with you at night–every night.
6. He/She is not interested in your life. If you never get to share your emotions, your thoughts on the day, your hobbies and interests with your mate, there is no love. A person who loves you will listen to you talk about basket weaving for hours if that’s your passion. Not only that, but he or she will even help you weave the baskets! That’s what people who love each other do!
7. He/She is constantly seeing other people (either secretly or openly). When you have something to lose, you know how to act. Have you ever seen your significant one driving, noticing a police car, and SLOWING DOWN? No one wants to pay a speeding ticket. Smart drivers slow down when they sense that they could jeopardize their money or driving record by breaking laws. If a person values, cherishes and appreciates you, they will do what it takes to keep you. This includes turning their back on all other prospects. If your woman or man has told you that “they have to keep their options open,” or “after all, I’m still single,” or “I’m young…I can have friends…” that’s not love. Someone who loves you will ignore Randy and/or Mandy to make sure they keep their spot in your life. Don’t be angry that the person doesn’t choose to love you. It means you can do better!
8. He or she doesn’t have your back. Who do you call for help when you’re in trouble? Who helps you when you’re short on cash? Does your lady serve you three meals a day, iron and fold your clothes, or straighten your place? If your significant one always denies your requests, there’s a problem. Your girl should be more than happy to prepare a meal for you, do favors, and/or grant your practical requests. But if you’ve been dating Keisha or Keith for 5 years and he/she hates to make you a sandwich, or rub your back, that’s not love. When you can’t get Craig to change your flat tire or loan you a twenty until payday, when you know for certain that he is capable, recognize that he is not in love.
9. He or she doesn’t talk to you. If you’re sitting quietly beside your mate, not saying a word, and this is a tradition in your relationship, someone’s not in love. People who love each other have great conversations that include humor, seriousness, emotion, action, stories, laughter and advice. If you struggle to make conversation with your mate, you can do better! Move on to someone who’s interested in you.
10. He or she is “tired of” or “bored with” the relationship. This is a nice way of hinting at a break-up. If your mate has said, “I’m sick of this shit,” or some other phrase that sounds similar, it’s time to move on. Some people don’t have the guts and nuts to end relationships. They will simply use you for as long as you stay around. Maybe they like the idea of having a mate; it makes them appear successful to certain others. Maybe he or she lives at your house and really doesn’t want to go back home to mom. Whatever the reason for staying with you, it’s not love. When a person says he or she is tired, believe it! Start taking steps to create a life without him or her.
Some men don’t know how to treat a woman. Some women don’t know how to treat a man. That doesn’t mean it’s your job to teach them! There are plenty of people out there who are healed, whole and ready to share real love with you. But first, you’ve got to get out of a relationship that makes you miserable.
It’s not your fault. Of course you’re beautiful/handsome. That doesn’t mean that everyone will be wise enough to see your true value. If you’re in a bad relationship, aren’t you tired of being sad and lonesome? Take time to love and care for yourself. Being in a bad relationship hurts. After you end it, give YOURSELF loving, adoring, pampering, indulgent, patient, sensitive treatment first.
Imagine the things you want your mate to do. DO THEM FOR YOURSELF. No one will treat you better than you treat yourself. If you’re kind to yourself the mates you attract will act the same way. If you value yourself, you will be valued. But if you keep beating yourself us about past mistakes, feeling like a failure, and being deceitful, you will draw that same energy into your relationships until you learn your lesson, straighten up, and fly right! Face the truth if your mate doesn’t love you. No one lives for ever and your love is waiting!