Ten Signs He or She Doesn’t Love You: The Truth About Your Relationship

Don’t stay with someone who ignores you.

If you have a healthy romantic relationship with no obvious issues, skip this article. If not, you’re not alone. Millions of women and men are involved in marriages and romantic relationships that make them miserable. If you’re constantly crying, depressed, angry, frustrated and disappointed, it’s time to move on.

Love is a wonderful gift that’s available everywhere! Why stick around to be neglected by someone who’s not into loving YOU? If the signs below apply to your relationship, it’s time to start changing your thoughts! Focus on moving toward a future without your mate. Who knows what happiness and joy you are missing? You’re stuck with someone who is too dense, busy,  or selfish to share their love with you. Here’s how to tell if your mate no longer loves you.

1. He or she stops answering your calls. When a mate stops answering the phone when you call, no matter how many clever excuses he or she produces, look beyond the lies. If she says, “I left my phone in the car…” then there’s a REASON she left it there; she didn’t want to talk to you.

If he says, “My phone was dead…,” although you know it’s a possibility, if it happens more than twice, you need to wake up! Men and women aren’t stupid. When you’re in a relationship, you’re aware that your significant one wants to contact you. If your lover denies your calls, turns off the phone or does not text back, he or she is doing things that are “none of your business,” and “they don’t feel like talking to you…” Does that sound like love to you?

2. He or she refuses to spend quality time with you. If the bedroom is the only place you see your lover, it means your relationship is strictly sexual. If he or she is not joining you for dinner and a movie, drinking and dancing, family barbeques and/or concerts and sporting events, it means one of two things: Either you’re a secret lover, or your mate does not consider you worthy of his or her “fun time.”  Does that sound like love to you?

3. You suffer abuse at the hands of your significant one. Of course, if you’ve been hit by your mate, your relationship is in trouble. For women: If your man hits you (even once) he does not respect or love you. Maybe he thinks he does, but he doesn’t. Look at his life and the people in it. Can you think of a person that he would never hit? Would he hit his mother? What about his grandmother? Would he punch his daughter in the face?

Some men wouldn’t even hit a dog that they love; let alone a woman. Do you know what happened to NFL star Michael Vick when he was caught letting dogs fight each other? He went to prison. For mistreating DOGS!!!! Think about that for a second. Are you less worthy than a dog?  People really care about dogs, don’t they? Whole organizations are devoted to protecting the rights of animals. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN A DOG.A man who loves you will never slap, punch, kick, push, choke, rape or beat you. Besides, not only are you not loved, you could end up dead.

Men/Women: Although male abuse is less common, it happens and it’s wrong. The same advice applies to you. A woman who hits you thinks you’re a piece of trash. She doesn’t love you. She may want to keep you around. But ask yourself why? If she’s hitting you or calling you names, she is not in love. When a woman is in love, she looks past all of her man’s faults and uses her words to build him up. She is proud of the man she loves, no matter how imperfect he may be. So a woman who gets angry and uses her hands in violence toward you is NOT IN LOVE! 

If he or she abuses you verbally, you are not loved. A person can say, “I love you” all day long, but if they also say mean, sarcastic, offensive, derogatory, belittling, embarrassing, teasing, taunting, profane, undermining, de-motivational, depressing, hurtful things to you on a regular basis, he or she does not love you. A man or woman who loves you is always considering your feelings. If a man or woman loves you, he or she won’t say, “you’re too sensitive.” Love is a decision. Loving you requires protecting your heart. If the person is not protecting your heart, but he or she is constantly saying, “I love you,” there are two possible explanations. He or she is either A] Highly ignorant about what love is and the responsibilities it demands,  or B] Lying because they want the relationship to continue for selfish reasons. Before you start trying to figure out which one applies to your mate, STOP! You deserve better. When a man loves a woman, he’ll GO FIND OUT how to do everything it takes to keep her. So ignorance is no excuse. When a woman loves a man, she will make damn sure that he KNOWS! Women are emotional. You should never have to wonder if a woman is in love. If there’s a doubt, it’s time to get out.

4. You are not a priority. If your mate has told you he or she “just doesn’t have enough time…” for you, it means you’re not important to him or her. Your mate will probably never admit it. But the truth is that when someone loves you, they make time for you. They care about what you want. If they don’t know what you like, they do their research and find out. Then, they do everything in their power to make sure you get what you want. No platonic friends, homeboys or homegirls are above you on their list of important people. A person who loves you prefers you over all others.


5. Your mate doesn’t come home/can’t be reached at night.  No matter what the excuse, if you’re sleeping alone at night and you don’t like it, but your mate always seems to have fun that lasts until daybreak, you’re not being loved. Everyone sleeps. If your man’s not at home, won’t answer his phone, but later admits to “hanging out all night,” chances are, he’s spent the night with another woman(or man!). If your lady is constantly “staying at her friend’s house,” but she never answers her phone when you call at night, WAKE UP! She’s already spending time with another man. You’re not loved. A woman or man who loves you wants to lay down with you at night–every night.

6. He/She is not interested in your life. If you never get to share your emotions, your thoughts on the day, your hobbies and interests with your mate, there is no love.  A person who loves you will listen to you talk about basket weaving for hours if that’s your passion. Not only that, but he or she will even help you weave the baskets! That’s what people who love each other do!

7. He/She is constantly seeing other people (either secretly or openly). When you have something to lose, you know how to act. Have you ever seen your significant one driving, noticing a police car, and SLOWING DOWN? No one wants to pay a speeding ticket. Smart drivers slow down when they sense that they could jeopardize their money or driving record by breaking laws. If a person values, cherishes and appreciates you, they will do what it takes to keep you. This includes turning their back on all other prospects. If your woman or man has told you that “they have to keep their options open,” or “after all, I’m still single,” or “I’m young…I can have friends…” that’s not love. Someone who loves you will ignore Randy and/or Mandy to make sure they keep their spot in your life. Don’t be angry that the person doesn’t choose to love you. It means you can do better!


8. He or she doesn’t have your back. Who do you call for help when you’re in trouble? Who helps you when you’re short on cash? Does your lady serve you three meals a day, iron and fold your clothes,  or straighten your place? If your significant one always denies your requests, there’s a problem. Your girl should be more than happy to prepare a meal for you, do favors, and/or grant your practical requests. But if you’ve been dating Keisha or Keith for 5 years and he/she  hates to make you a sandwich, or rub your back, that’s not love. When you can’t get Craig to change your flat tire or loan you a twenty until payday, when you know for certain that he is capable, recognize that he is not in love.

9. He or she doesn’t talk to you. If you’re sitting quietly beside your mate, not saying a word, and this is a tradition in your relationship, someone’s not in love. People who love each other have great conversations that include humor, seriousness, emotion, action, stories, laughter and advice. If you struggle to make conversation with your mate, you can do better! Move on to someone who’s interested in you.

10. He or she is “tired of” or “bored with” the relationship This is a nice way of hinting at a break-up. If your mate has said, “I’m sick of this shit,” or some other phrase that sounds similar, it’s time to move on. Some people don’t have the guts and nuts to end relationships. They will simply use you for as long as you stay around. Maybe they like the idea of having a mate; it makes them appear successful to certain others. Maybe he or she lives at your house and really doesn’t want to go back home to mom. Whatever the reason for staying with you, it’s not love. When a person says he or she is tired, believe it! Start taking steps to create a life without him or her.

A person who loves you will respect, honor, protect and cherish you. If your love doesn’t look and/or feel like this, WAKE UP!

Some men don’t know how to treat a woman. Some women don’t know how to treat a man. That doesn’t mean it’s your job to teach them! There are plenty of people out there who are healed, whole and ready to share real love with you. But first, you’ve got to get out of a relationship that makes you miserable.

It’s not your fault. Of course you’re beautiful/handsome. That doesn’t mean that everyone will be wise enough to see your true value. If you’re in a bad relationship, aren’t you tired of being sad and lonesome? Take time to love and care for yourself. Being in a bad relationship hurts. After you end it, give YOURSELF loving, adoring, pampering, indulgent, patient, sensitive treatment first.

Imagine the things you want your mate to do. DO THEM FOR YOURSELF. No one will treat you better than you treat yourself. If you’re kind to yourself the mates you attract will act the same way. If you value yourself, you will be valued. But if you keep beating yourself us about past mistakes, feeling like a failure, and  being deceitful, you will draw that same energy into your relationships until you learn your lesson, straighten up, and fly right! Face the truth if your mate doesn’t love you. No one lives for ever and your love is waiting!

114 thoughts on “Ten Signs He or She Doesn’t Love You: The Truth About Your Relationship

  1. I met this girl while I was at Iraq. She was from Dominican Republic and had two kids from two different men. I met her online and we spoke on the phone and emailed each other for 3 months before she said she loved me. We hit it off so well. I flew to Dominican Republic July of 2005 and married her 6 days later after seeing her for the first time. She came to the states on September 2007 and my first baby at age 42 was born. I treated this woman like a queen. I paid all of the expenses, helped raised her children, worked two jobs 7 days a week. I paid lawyers to help bring her kids to the states. I helped her get her own business in a hair salon. But after just 10 years of marriage, she said to me that she no longer loved me. I got her this nice Jewish place where street violence and drama does not exist. No grocery stores to hang next to spells no noise at night and no thugs in the building. But she brought her mother to live with us and now, I am living in my father’s house while her mother and entire family lives in the house, I was able to get her. She used close to 10 credit cards under my name and incurred $22, 000. I have to pay all of that back. While at home, she spent more times with her mother than with me. She never rubbed my back and I was in pain. She never helped me with the expenses. She never supported me, and stopped cooking breakfast for me or ironing my clothes, yet I was working two jobs to keep the family afloat. Then when I left because she didn’t love me, she send me to court for child support. This was the same person whom I helped get out of poverty with the mere sweat of my forehead working long hours so that she and her family would be able to eat. Now, I am 50, stuck with a $110, 000 student loan which I took out to help the family with rent, and her salon which was not going well and I helped her out by paying the rent on more than one occasion. I have to work two jobs to pay all of those loans off and see my 7 year old daughter so I can’t move on and seek out another relationship at 50 because I have no time. NO women in her right mind would go with me because of my situation. Who would do that. People advise that I move on but how? I have to be with my daughter and no woman will tolerate that. So basically, I am screwed, no more love, no romance no chance for a family because of my current situation. What is going through her mind now as I suffer in silence?

  2. I just divorced my husband after 8 years of marriage. I found he was cheating . It cost me 100.000.00 but I’m happy and you can’t put a price on happiness.life is short! The time you waste with a cheater is time you are losing from some one who will love you!

    • I never cheated on my wife, never abused her and spend just about every penny I earned on her or her kids. But she fell out of live regardless. Why do you think she stopped loving me? Was it because I gained weight?

  3. I know this is the truth but what I don’t know is how to leave
    I am nothing to him but he tells me he does not know how to love because the way he was never shown love
    what do I do he says he loves me but he never talks to me he always is with friends and he never puts me first and tells me if I have his friend stop coming down here he will leave me when his friend always tries to cause trouble for us and our marrage I am so lost he has broke my heart

    • You’re going nowhere already if you’re nothing to him..its probably difficult for you to be on your own, but if you’re nothing to him..you are in a way already on your own..just in a state of denial

  4. Thankyou for this article its been helpfull ive been with my mate for 27 years 10 years has been down fall ,haven’t sleep in same bed for a year ,and was put in basement since out 4 2015.i tried enough.i love her but dhe don’t love me.your right i think it time to find some one who loves me .

  5. Thankyou for this article its been helpfull ive been with my mate for w 7 years 10 years has been down fall ,haven’t sleep in same bed for a year ,and was put in basement since out 4 2015.i tried enough.i love her but dhe don’t love me.your right i think it time to find some one who loves me .

  6. love is just a name don’t come here and tell me that you love me make me to see that you do. Eish here’s the big thing I’m in with someone who doesn’t love me at all she’s tell me about her boyfriend I wish I was her…..

  7. I have been with my man since 2012 and I wanna know is he still cheating cause he kissed a girl 9 times and I just wanna know what other people think im scard I am 21 with a 1 year old and 5 year old and one on the way by him and I wanna know do you people think he still cheating help me please

    • He kissed a girl 9 times…thats cheating. Leave him and dont be afraid no matter what your situation theres always someone else for you

  8. I need help my husband and going on 18 years we never talk he is always with friends he doesn’t even hear me when I talk he always has this friend with him always he hadn’t even kissed me in years no sex ever he doesn’t even hug me I’m going crazy i til him i know he doesn’t love me any more that he needs to give him self time to honestly think and realize because when hr days I’m glad you know what I’m thinking do he says i love you but he will not talk about our problems he is doing so many thing to avoid me on a fail basises that he never used to do but he is all u know I can’t believe he says i love you and not how can he distroy me like this i def ont understand my heart is being ripped out my chest please help me someone i am really going nuts in my mind

    • I know how you feel. I am going through the same thing. I loved my wife with all my heart and for her to just stop loving me and treat me like shit is too much to take at times.

  9. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 12 yrs, no kids, not married. I’m 32 and he is 30. It seems like we been arguing almost every single day for the last couple of months and I can honestly say I feel like he don’t love me anymore. It’s sad to say because I would do anything for this man and he doesn’t want to see or believe it. He recently told me he doesn’t know if he wants a future with me, he doesn’t know if he wants to marry me. We talked about marriage and kids several times and this is the first time I heard him speak negative towards our future. Those words crushed my heart and I can’t stop thinking if I’m in this relationship alone. I asked him if he’s not in love with me anymore and he gets defensive and doesn’t want to talk about it. He tells me he’s miserable when he’s mad at him and he always puts me down. He always makes me feel like im not good enough and everything I do he doesn’t appreciate it. Im not lazy, I work, clean, do laundry, occasionally rub his back, I try my best. I told him to be honest with me, I told him I have no problem leaving this relationship but he holds me back from going. He is busy and I do have to beg for his time, he does tell certain people I’m his wife and I’m just really confused. Am I smothering him? What do I need to do? Pls help thanks

  10. Sincerely pls i dnt believe in love,to me they don’t exist, i ve seen many or movies that pple confess love but does somethings hurtful.besides d only tin i bliv is God’s love, cos men at times are like flowers that fade away

  11. This article is really helpful. Gives a clear cut guide to relationships. Guess my problem is the role playing. Playing mom and dad to kids, while husband gallivanting, just confuses everything and I became resentful.

  12. Pingback: Ten Signs He or She Doesn’t Love You: The Truth About Your Relationship | THE LORE | 2013may13

  13. Im so confused . currently i just broke up with my man. Everything is going wrong ! Idk if he doesnt love me anymore or if we need a break .. Weve been together for 1 year and 4 months and just couple days ago he decided to break up with me because he says i act like a child . everytime he would break up with me he would say he was leaving for good and would cone back . i love him so much and missed him so i would let him back in . everything fell apart when we moved in . i wouldnt trust him and he eventually got tired of it . i dont knkw what to do to make it better ?? If i still can …

      • I was in a relationship for almost two years, and I forgave him each time he betrayed me and apologized to him even when he was the one in the wrong. To him he was always right because since he was a little older he always said that he had more experience and no matter what i would do or say i was always in the wrong… I kept trying to make him happy because i loved him so much, i still do… He dumped me because I contacted the girl whom he said was not willing to let him go and i wanted to tell her to leave him alone and stop bothering us… I told him that i emailed her… couple days later he calls me because the girl contacted him regarding the email… he called that same day and told me I was harassing her, i was disrespectful to her and to him and that he doesn’t want me anymore… called me names after names…. not even once did he defend me. He used to ignore my texts, calls, emails for weeks to punish me whenever i did something he did not like. I always forgave him for all the pain he caused me however, when it came to me… he could never found it in his heart to do the same…
        You should leave before you find yourself broken and alone because let me tell you, the feeling does not go away and the little trust you had in finding a man who will love you and cherish you… well it will be gone!

  14. am in relationship but when we are together everyone seem to be in his business no conversation after reading this I hve find out that my relationship is
    not there any more
    thank u

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