“What’s In Your Panties?” Examining Vaginal Freshness, Baby Powder and Ovarian Cancer Risk

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Try watching television for any length of time without seeing a commercial for scented or odor masking feminine hygiene products. Viewers young and old are exposed to advertising that references “fresh” and “not so fresh” feelings, urging women to be proactive; to sanitize, clean and essentially fumigate their vaginas–or else.

From douches and powders to suppositories and deodorant sprays, women use a variety of chemical-based products that upset the vagina’s PH balance, creating a breeding-ground for the very odoriferous bacteria no one wants growing down below. Certainly this news has made its rounds. Although many women cling to douches and feminine washes for lack of a better alternative, the most knowledgeable and health-savvy women seek natural alternatives to maintain a comfortable level of cleanliness, health and comfort without using the chemicals that defeat the purpose.

 

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“It can’t hurt to sprinkle a little baby powder…” Baby powder in your panties can lead to ovarian cancer. The American Cancer Society provides statistical data about the chances of developing cancer if baby powder travels into the vagina and enters the cervix, uterus, and/or fallopian tubes. And according to Harvard Medical School’s Dr. Daniel Cramer, talc has been causing ovarian cancer for years! Pharmaceutical commercials can be comical with their mile-long lists of possible side-effects, which often include worse symptoms than the initial illness–and can sometimes be fatal! But there’s nothing funny about baby powder. People use it on babies. How many parents ignorantly and innocently dust their little ones’ bottoms with good old Johnson’s baby powder?

Taking responsibility for personal hygiene and freshness is great. But the only responsible way to maintain an organ as intricate as a vagina is to investigate the best possible natural methods you can use to keep yourself fresh without dying an early death because of perineal perfumes. It’s true that the vagina is “self-cleansing” as naturalists assert. However, proper research can lead you to an appropriate routine to guarantee that you feel, smell and even taste 100% fresh at all times.

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Rather than following the prompts of a television commercial or a magazine ad, conduct your own vaginal anatomy and pysiology RESEARCH to discover the best products to use. Never use powders and creams to mask an odor. An odor indicates a problem, and a problem shouldn’t be masked; it should be solved. Contrary to advertisements, it’s possible to avoid yeast infections, vaginosis and foul odors altogether. In your research, don’t stop at perfume products. Investigate the tampons, pads, condoms or lubricants that enter or make contact with your vaginal area.

Diet, exercise, water intake and overall health play important roles in vaginal cleanliness, as do sexual activities, soaps, fabrics, and hygiene habits. If a universal solution exists for vaginal freshness, it’s probably found in nature and not advertised on television. Find out what works for others and then develop a routine that works for you. And never put powder in your panties.

“I Would Like to Thank the Academy”: Lupita and Black Self Esteem

In the weeks prior to the 2014 Academy Awards, Lupita Nyong’o floated down red carpets to the absolute delight of fashion designers and critics. Svelte, statuesque and sophisticated; skin the color of black coffee. Lupita enchanted Hollywood with her Afrocentric goddess qualities as black America looked on with awe.

No longer the despised and destitute slave girl she portrayed in Twelve Years a Slave, Lupita emerged into the Hollywood scene as a startlingly gorgeous and unapologetically African beauty; a standard.

Although Lupita’s beauty, talent and achievement inspire legions of fellow humans beyond the community of black women, nowhere else is her reign more celebrated. As she joins the ranks of the six other black women who have won coveted Oscar Awards, she gives billions of Africans, African Americans and dark people permission to be and feel beautiful without the chemicals and artificial enhancements that have caused physical and emotional damage to so many celebrities and pedestrians of color. Bravo!

Five Great Things About Being Single

What makes people search desperately for a romantic partner? Sometimes movies, television shows and music depict romantic love as the absolute best part of life. Fairy tale stories lead young women to believe that there’s a “Prince Charming” for every “princess.” Friends, parents and even religious leaders encourage everyone to find their perfect match, soul mate, husband or wife. Some people encourage grade-school children to pair up and engage in a toned-down version of adult romantic relationships. Even preschool children develop “crushes,” showing focused interest in one particular boy of girl who is popular, attractive, talented or otherwise desirable.

By the time an adolescent becomes a teen, he or she has likely “dated” some other cute kid at school and has consequently had their relationship activity positively or negatively reinforced. Healthy? Children and teens have always placed great emphasis on “dating” or becoming couples, and by the time adulthood approaches, most people spend the majority of their time envisioning their future family; wife or husband and kids. Yet relationships are extremely complex. The following list highlights a few benefits of singleness that the majority of unattached people take for granted.

1. Single people have more money. Marriage is great for the economy because families spend more money than singles. Taking on a companion sounds beautiful in theory, but once you make the decision to couple up, immediately your expenses increase.

Dates, drinks, dinners and transportation are only the beginning. Gifts, trips, cash and most importantly, time, are all optional expenses that single people manage to avoid by practicing a lifestyle of singleness. Instead of wishing generically for “a relationship” or “a special someone,” calculate the money you have saved by skipping the mandatory gift-giving holidays like Valentine’s Day, Birthdays, Anniversaries, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas and etc.

Some people enjoy gift-giving, which is perfectly normal. But most people complain about loneliness and long to spend their money on an imaginary, ideal love interest whom they have never met. Instead of wishing for a companion on whom you can spend your money ; yearning to show off your generosity and kindness, treat yourself and be glad for the savings.

2. You Come First. Have you ever made a decision based on someone else’s desires? Kate wanted to perform on a Disney Cruise Ship as part of her burgeoning career as a professional vocalist. She was so excited about the new gig until her fiancé Todd rejected the possibility. Todd and his mother had just opened a new restaurant and in his mind, Kate would make the perfect manager. He literally cried and begged Kate not to go.

Putting her relationship first, Kate decided to stay close to home; working with the “family business.” How could she have put herself first? She had to consider Todd and in doing so, she rejected an opportunity that she would have immediately seized had she been single.

When you’re single, you only need approval from one person; yourself. Relationships have a way of taking on lives of their own. The next time you catch yourself wishing for a relationship, imagine the inevitable disagreements, differing goals, clashing philosophies and general incompatibility that people in relationships face.

A single person is a committee of one; free to make his or her own rules and plans without having to explain, justify or convince anyone else to support their decision. Joseph and Jonathan are twins who both dance professionally. But Jonathan gave up private parties, where he made the bulk of his money and had the bulk of his fun, at the demand of his new girlfriend.

Sure it feels great to have someone claim ownership of you; proving your value as a person, but when the love interest becomes even mildly possessive, therein lies the evidence that you are no longer your own. The next time you are tempted to feel lonely, think about how grateful you should be; that no one is pulling your strings but you. It’s your life: Why should someone else tell you how to live it? Single people have the luxury of controlling their own lives.

3. Singles (should) enjoy variety.New things can be more exciting than older things and relationships are no exception. New relationships infuse both partners with optimism, joy, pleasure, inspiration an magic! Chance encounters, shared glances, flirtation and desire mark the beginning of any new relationship endeavor. In many ways, the beginning of a relationship is the best part. Single people have the option to enjoy newness as often as they like.

Lots of people fantasize about growing old with a special someone. But what happens when a partner leaves the relationship via choices or even death? The lover they left behind is often paralyzed with grief, vowing to never love again. This kind of devotion makes good romance novel material but in reality, newness is what people enjoy and remember most. And when you’re single, newness is always available.

Dating has been simplified to meeting a person, enjoying their company, then trying to manipulate circumstances to produce the desired result of a long-term commitment. The next time you schedule a date, don’t set your sights on roping the person in. Don’t immediately envision a “happily ever after.” Enjoy the newness! Indulge in the attention, affection and interest that is never higher than in the beginning.

It’s normal to want a companion. But companionship can be found from many people. It’s never a good idea to be sexually promiscuous, but if you’re single, make a pointed dating several different people. Enjoy their company, learn about different personality types and enjoy the moments.

Don’t stress over not having a valentine. Instead, round up a few prospects from whom you can choose and be glad that you could potentially receive several gifts if you organize your dating life in the appropriate way. See several people. Have lunch, dinner, a movie, a walk in the park, a stimulating conversation; enjoy getting to know people as you revel in the attention you thought only one person could provide. Enjoy the variety of potential friends or love interests in your circle.

4. Single people have more fun! While romantic partners search each other’s computers and phones for signs of “infidelity,” single people are looking through their own phones remembering the great spontaneous adventures they’ve had and planning future rendezvous. Sure, there are happy couples. If you’re part of a happy couple, congratulations. This advice is for the rest of the readers, who’ve experienced enough frustration, disappointment, smothering, abandonment, manipulation, lies or heartbreak to know that relationships can be hard work.

Everyone wants to spend time with the person they enjoy, like or love, but when a relationship causes regular stress, why continue?

Singleness gives you the opportunity to manage your own interests, activities, moods, habits, hobbies and even entertainment. How many times do men have to decline women’s invitations to see chick flicks before women realize that not every activity they enjoy should be imposed upon the brave man who decided to be “hers.”

Of course it’s fun to watch chick flicks. So do it without having to have a date. Single people have the best opportunity to be themselves, enjoy their lives and live it up. Don’t be in a hurry to take that away from yourself. And if you already have, it’s never too late to break free from the confines of a miserable relationship and have fun as your own independent self.

5. Single people can FOCUS! What do you want most from life? If it’s a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, you might want to prioritize at least your financial, health or career above romantic involvement. Think carefully about this. Has romance taken away your focus?

Sometimes people put their goals on the back burner to pursue relationships. Smart singles have the opportunity to focus all of their attention on themselves. what could you achieve if you took the liberty of focusing only on YOU?

Amelia wanted to open her own hair salon. She also wanted to get married and have children. She’s lost several potential “mates” by being too committed to her goals; she doesn’t want the responsibilities of marriage, kids and maintaining a household with multiple people.

Most single people aren’t lonely! They’re focused, busy, determined, and they have lots of fun in their spare time. They enjoy the company of many friends while sparing themselves heartache and extra responsibilities that they can always add to their lives AFTER they’ve had all the fun, focus and freedom they can stand.

Winter Storm Leon: Preparing for Events that Never Happen

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Two inches of snow fell in parts of the south, and as a result, many of residents of the southern United States endured the worst weather-related catastrophe they had ever witnessed.

Icy, slippery roads made driving dangerous; cars slid into ditches, guardrails and other cars. Vehicles fish-tailed, swerved, glided and careened; some flew and crashed. Bumpers were put to good use as cars pushed each other into intersections after failing to stop.

Hills; often taken for granted in normal conditions, became icy mountains: Impossible to climb in a 2-wheel drive car, and very tricky by foot (unless a motorist had packed his or her snow boots in the trunk).

Mayors, Governors and other officials apologized and explained; they had failed to plan. School busses couldn’t drive safely, so hundreds of children were stranded at school. Workers left early; all the workers, so rush hour commenced early, but not early enough for motorists to avoid the ice.

Northeastern and Midwesterners scoffed. How could a mere two inches of snow and a few frozen highways bring an entire region to its knees? Where were the salt trucks? Where were the snow plows?

Expecting snow in the South is similar to expecting to see the real Santa Claus on Christmas Eve: You’ve heard it could happen, but you’re pretty sure it won’t; and if you do see him, you’ll always wonder if it was really him.

Southern people who speak of snow are often told, “That wasn’t real snow.” Another version of this idea is, “It was just a few flurries.” Yet another snow-denial phrase: “It didn’t even stick.” Some Southern environments are close to being tropical. Winter Storm Leon proves that even Hawaii needs salt trucks at the ready. Why? Because even though it rarely snows in Hawaii, it’s still wise to make sure Hawaii is prepared for snow. It’s always wise to prepare for things that might never happen!

It seems the mayors and governors rolled the dice, betting against Mother Nature. Can we blame them? Of course we can, and we did. They should have known Winter Storm Leon would be The One. They should have dropped salt on the roads before ever seeing a snowflake. Why? Because anything’s possible.

So the next time we all hear about salt trucks preparing Atlanta or Birmingham’s highways for flurries, a light dusting, or a snow that won’t even stick, let’s all be glad. Because even the highly unlikely is still possible. Be prepared.

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Stop Hitting Yourself: Ending the Pain of a Bad Relationship

image Have you been hurt? Does your significant one disregard your feelings? Do you find yourself crying, staying awake at night, depressed, irritated or confused? This may come a shock to you, but it’s time to take a hard look in the mirror and figure out why you are hurting yourself. Everyone wants a loving relationship in which they can enjoy affection, attention and love, but many times they end up not only disappointed but emotionally destroyed because they are misled, deceived, used or otherwise abused. If this sounds familiar, consider the questions below and take the steps to stop hurting yourself.

1. Are You the Victim? This is an important question. Of course the other person is “at fault” for treating you badly, but this question is more about YOU. Do you see yourself as the poor little mistreated person who deserves to be comforted because so-and-so did a number on your heart? Do you say things like, How could she do this to me? And do you feel helpless; destined to experience pain until the person decides to change? It’s time to let go of the victim mentality.

At any given time you can decide to stop being the victim. Unless your life is being threatened, you can easily remove yourself from the person’s presence. The first and most important step to getting out is to realize that YOU have the power to decide what you will accept. If your significant other isn’t beating or verbally abusing you, it might take some thought to realize that you are a victim. And you can’t stop being a victim until you accept responsibility for putting yourself in  harm’s way via your own choices. Realize that YOU selected the person you’re with, based on a number of factors like physical attraction, location, proximity, hair or eye color, reputation, occupation, and much more.

Chances are, you weren’t forced to start a relationship with this person, so remind yourself that you chose it! If you’re still involved, you have chosen to stay. If you’re being abused, you chose to accept it. Many people stay in bad relationships because they dodge the responsibility for helping to create those bad relationships. They say they’ll leave “if the person doesn’t change” but in reality, YOU, the abused, used, disrespected and disregarded partner, need to change. Look in the mirror and admit; I chose this for myself.

To take it a step further, think back to the first time you felt disrespected or ignored. Remember how you chose to continue the relationship. Remember how no-one forced you to stay. Now admit the following: You victimized yourself. “But I gave him/her everything I had and he/she lied to me.” It’s okay. But believing a lie, and trusting the liar with your heart, is victimizing yourself. Why? Because YOU are the only one who can protect yourself from relationship pain. So stop hitting yourself. Refuse to be treated this way! And refuse to think like a victim any longer.

2. Do Emotions Control Your Day? Do you deal with negative thoughts and feelings on a daily basis? Are you always or often sad, angry, depressed, lonely or jealous? It’s time to take control of your feelings! You are a human being with a brain. Therefore, your thoughts and emotions are exclusively yours to manipulate. You might not be aware of this, but YOU are in charge of determining how you feel at any given time. Other people are not responsible for how you feel. No one can “make you feel” a certain way; only YOU can determine your thoughts and feelings.

Here’s an example. Greg is up all night; he can’t sleep because Vicki is out, not answering her phone, and is late coming home AGAIN. When she first started hanging out late at night, Greg would get into his car, hunt for Vicki, call her friends, and contact hospitals and jails. Now he knows better; Vicki is out and about, having a good time. Greg hates it, of course, but wants to keep his family together for the sake of the kids. Greg knows he’s being abused. But he decided to stop being the victim. He knows he can’t control Vicki’s emotions, actions or activities, but he CAN control himself. Instead of waiting up in agony, repeatedly calling and texting Vicki, Greg finds things he enjoys, like gaming, reading and listening to music, to occupy his mind and his time while he spends nights alone.

Greg also decided to make new friends that he can speak and hang out with at night. When Vicki stumbles in at daybreak after a night of partying, Greg greets her pleasantly; there’s no profit in upsetting himself and his children. He wants to have a good day every day, and he won’t play the victim by allowing Vicki’s actions to determine his mood.

On the reverse, Carol is an emotional mess “because of Rick.” Carol is always crying, always depressed and totally down on life. She blames Rick because he “makes her feel worthless” and “walks all over her” every day. Rick talks to other women and won’t make Carol “his one and only.” Because of this, Carol chooses to feel unattractive and frequently considers herself to be a failure. She shuns fun; neglecting the joy she could experience with her children, other family members, coworkers and friends. Instead of taking responsibility for her own happiness, Carol blames her feelings on Rick. Sure, it makes her feel badly when Rick ignores and disrespects her. But she chooses to wallow in it. She wants everyone to see her pain and sadness; especially Rick.

Carol has recently become physically ill, and she believes it’s stress-related. Guess who Carol blames for her stress, depression and physical sickness? She blames Rick.

Your emotions are your own to manipulate. Emotions spring from thoughts, so the things that we think about determine how we feel. If you’ve been spending most of your time thinking about your terrible relationship, you are emotionally abusing yourself. There are a number of things you can think about besides heartache and pain. For instance, are you glad to be alive? Are you glad to have your five senses? If you wouldn’t mind being blind or deaf, you are a rare exception. But most people consider themselves fortunate, lucky or blessed when they wake up with their sight, hearing and etc., breath in their bodies, food to eat, a roof over their heads, and countless other simple joys we take for granted when we’re obsessing over ONE PERSON and how that person relates to us.

Control your thoughts and manage your emotions by playing the Glad Game; finding things to be glad about. So your partner cheated? Aren’t you glad you found out? So you found out your teenage son uses drugs; be glad to know the truth; glad he’s alive! Whether you employ the Glad Game, make a gratitude list, meditate, pray or workout, find something to think about BESIDES the partner who didn’t do what you expected. Don’t let your emotions run wild.

3. What Do You Want? It’s always nice to try on a pair of shoes before you buy them. Shoes often look appealing but it’s wise to check the fit! The same applies to relationships; know what you want and refuse to settle for less. Would you force your feet into shoes that hurt? Or would you find a better-fitting pair?

Stacy nagged Patrick daily: nothing was ever neat and clean enough. She constantly dragged Patrick to office parties and family gatherings that he hated. She even pressured him to go to church, which he also hated. Stacy told Patrick that it was “bad” to not wash his dishes immediately, “wrong” to make her attend functions without her boyfriend, and “evil” to not believe in Jesus. Patrick took a step back from the relationship and examined himself. Was he bad? Was he wrong? Was he evil? According to Stacy, he was.

If he did everything Stacy asked, he would be victimizing himself; forcing himself into situations he didn’t like. This wasn’t what he wanted in a relationship. Patrick wanted to enjoy his free time without feeling obligated to please Stacy by attending events. He wanted a relaxed home environment with a lived-in look, and was perfectly comfortable procrastinating in regard to housework. Patrick hadn’t given much thought to organized religion and he didn’t want to “get saved” or make a spiritual decision and commitment based on Stacy’s views. He knew what he wanted. Do you know what you want?

In taking responsibility for your decisions, you’ve got to admit that you have at least a faint idea of what you want. You know you want honesty, loyalty, fun and enjoyment. What else do you want? It’s important to identify your wants so you don’t victimize yourself in the future; any good farmer and doctor knows…that you can’t get blood out of a turnip. Are you trying to extract love and devotion from someone who apparently doesn’t have any? Do you find yourself waiting for someone to change? Knowing what you want is key. When you know what you want, you don’t jump at the chance to be with the first attractive person who smiles at you or asks you out. Stop hitting yourself. Know what you want, keep your emotions in check and never be the victim again.

Hosea Williams Rolls Over in Grave

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That’s Hosea Williams on the left.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta traveled southbound to coastal Georgia, visiting Savannah for another round of the hilarious hijinks that make it Bravo’s top rated show. In spite of the few catty spats, the episode delivers substance; by acknowledging the legendary story of black America’s rise from bondage, and exposing the rampant lack of knowledge thereof. Poor Porsha!

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Porsha Stewart, granddaughter of Civil rights giant Hosea Williams, frequently makes ignorant comments on The Real Housewives of Atlanta.

The Underground Railroad, which, one might believe sounds like…an actual railroad was anything but. It was a series of hiding spots, paths, safe houses and more, by which black Americans eluded capture as they escaped their white captors on foot; not so long ago, when it was legal for white Americans to buy, sell, own, enslave, rape, lynch, breed, beat, mutilate, burn alive, murder and ext., black Americans.

During a touching moment at First African Baptist Church, America’s oldest black church and a safe haven along the Underground Railroad, Porsha says the following: “…Somebody’s driving the train. It’s not electric like what we have now.” Incase you, like Porsha, thought the Underground Railroad was an actual railroad and/or train, it was not.

Routes along the Underground Railroad

Routes along the Underground Railroad

Porsha logically pictured trains, but historically, the Underground Railroad looked more like this.

Porsha pictured trains, but historically, the Underground Railroad looked more like this.

Adding weight to the mistake is the fact that Porsha’s grandfather is the late legendary militant civil rights activist and protestor Hosea Williams, who was so entrenched in the pursuit of liberty for American blacks that he was present with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. on the balcony of the Lorraine Motel on the day he died.

Although poor Porsha faces public judgement for her ignorance, her comments indicate a clear necessity; the urgent and fervent re-education of black America.

The late Hosea Williams is known for his courageous protests, for serving on the Georgia Legislature, for being a part of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s Staff, and much, much more.

The late Hosea Williams is known for his courageous protests, for serving on the Georgia Legislature, for being a part of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s Staff, and much, much more.

Loyal RHOA viewers know that passing references to Hosea Williams pepper the show since Porsha’s debut. Yet how many know who Hosea Williams was; and why Dr. King referred to him as “my wild man?” Porsha is likely a reflection of plenty of people’s ignorance.

This isn’t the first time Porsha has made ignorant comments. Viewers may recall Porsha saying “265 days a year” and other phrases that make her look less than brilliant. So after this latest incident, the public wonders how much Porsha really knows. Although Cynthia properly states that Hosea would likely disapprove of his granddaughter’s lack of knowledge, it is also likely that he would enjoy the fact that his name is trending.20131223-020111.jpg

Make Them Love You

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Want to be a magnet? Is it even possible to be attractive to everyone you encounter? Maybe. But you CAN increase your mojo; your IT factor, and your appeal; right now.

Hopefully you’ve got bigger goals than wooing a member of the opposite sex. Cultivating your inner magnetism can help stimulate your career, your finances, your everyday life, and your personal/social interactions as well. The following list will enable you to sell yourself in business, personal relationships, social settings and more. Here’s how to Make Them Love You.

1. Decide that you’re the best. No one is perfect. However, everyone has something that no one else can imitate. What’s unique about you?

Identify your talents: Pay attention to compliments to determine your strengths, and fine-tune the present version of yourself (hone skills, practice, improve, upgrade). Organize your life so that your activities, conversations and social interactions enable your strengths to shine. For instance, if you’ve EVER been told you have a beautiful smile, start using your smile like a weapon; a disarming, charming magical magnet. Smile even when you’re less than happy. Never be caught without your smile.

Similarly, if you’re great at chess, play chess all the time and hang out with people who appreciate the game. It’s easy to shine when you’re in your element. Great dancer? Humorous personality? Let it shine. Dance at the company party or neighborhood gathering. Make people laugh if you’re good at it. Super clean? Show off and brag about your meticulous housekeeping. Great clothes? Flaunt them. If you have a great body, show it off! Find something great about you, embrace it, publicize it and praise yourself.

To start this new habit immediately, go look in your favorite mirror and make yourself look as appealing as you can. Then say you yourself, I’m glad you are mine. Then reply to yourself, thanks, I agree; you are the best person for me.
If you expect others to gravitate toward you, you’ve got to believe your own hype. Want him to like you? He’ll like you equally as much as you like yourself. Don’t lie to yourself. If you’re not totallyin love with you, start correcting that right now.

If you’re waiting for your boss to be impressed by your work, impress yourself and everything will fall into place. Are youimpressed with yourself? If not, do something about it now.

2. Be busy. It’s okay to dream of a promotion, college acceptance letter or a date with that special someone. But dreaming alone won’t work without action. What are the qualifications for getting into that great position, or school, or relationship? Have you done the work? Preparation is the key to seizing your moment of opportunity.

Suppose your boss is considering promoting you. Show him or her why you’re a great investment. Hinting and askingfor what you want is only the first step. But to earn any substantial promotion, opportunity or relationship, you’ve got to be seen doing a damn good job, repeatedly, with a passion.If you want to feel beautiful, religiously attend to your personal upkeep and walk the walk of the attractive, successful, motherly, fatherly, wifely, husbandly or scholarly role you desire.

Go the extra mile. Look great every dayas opposed to being lazy on occasion. Work hardeven when no one is looking. If you know exactly what you want, you should be busyall the time; setting or accomplishing new goals, evaluating and upgrading, maintaining and planning. What’s more appealing; a bustling restaurant with steady business or a quiet establishment with no customers; just a bored staff, sitting around waiting for the phone to ring; waiting for a customer to walk in?

Busy is always better. If you don’t know what to get busydoing, see our article about setting goals, (click here to set goals).

Since the majority of our readers request relationship advice, we will reiterate the above advice for their benefit. Busy is better. Never be too available. If you don’t have a lifeoutside of work and family, try to establish one. No one thinks it’s interesting that you sit around waiting for their call. At least pretendto be busy. Moving on…

3. Be consistent. Anyone can act a certain way, but consistency separates the real from the fake. Everyone behaves when the situation is new, but how long can a habitually tardy person beat the clock? Usually not very long. Always be consistent in your efforts, attitude and demeanor. Just be yourself and you won’t have to worry.

Make sure that being yourself includes mastering certain virtues like good manners, promptness, discipline and character. After you’ve become comfortable consistently putting your best foot forward, everyone around you will be convinced that you’re pretty great.

4. Be mysterious (a little). No boss, coworker, friend, or potential romantic partner needs to know every single detail about your past, present and future. Are we advising you to habitually lie to make yourself look good? Absolutely not. We do believe that honesty is the best policy. However, learn to use honesty carefully with discretion.

Don’t tell your supervisor or boss your personal business. If you’ve already started sharing too much, just stop! Business and personal conversations should NOT intertwine unless you’re counting on being promoted via a relationshiprather than your skills and abilities. Be loyal to yourself! Don’t expose your deepest and darkest secrets to anyone unless you are paying for a therapy session. Yes, people need to vent and express their feelings. Wisely find a neutral party; perhaps a stranger in whom you can confide…only for the sake of getting advice.

Like it or not, people judge each other based on what they know,so do you really want to spill your guts and reveal your weaknesses to a person you want to impress? Take care of yourself emotionally, but do so in a private manner. Relationships and work situations are competitiveand very judgementalatmospheres. Don’t show your hand! Honesty is the best policy; but save your revealinghonesty for last; once you’ve reached the top and no one can deem you weak or unreliable.

5. Maintain the utmost confidence. It’s easy to be confident when you’ve got goals that you can complete one by one; when you’re focused on your future and busy making your visions a reality. Look your best and always give your absolute best performance, no matter what the stage.

The key to confidence is knowing who you are, where you’re going and exactly when you plan to get there. Picture yourself handling your business, climbing the ladders of achievement and success; deeply involved in your ideal social and romantic relationships. Then be grateful that you’re focused and motivated. When you live your life with this kind of purpose and focus, you’ll be so confident and magnetic that people will be drawn to you. Opportunities will come to you! People will approach you and become instantly engaged and attracted. And if anyone doesn’t love and admire or approve of you, you won’t even notice.