Love can be great, lift you to new heights, inspire and delight your soul. When love comes to an end in a relationship, some people are so let down, so disappointed and utterly devastated, that they can’t function; they wonder if life is worth living at all. It’s not always noticeable. Many broken-hearted people camouflage their pain with bright smiles and happy dispositions whenever they can. But heartbreak can cause such an emotional illness that if not treated or resolved independently, the stress that heartbreak brings can lead to severe depression, physical illness, mental illness, disease and even death. The old adage, “She died of a broken heart,” is steeped in truth. Countless stories of spouses who literally can’t live without each other, and die within weeks or months of the other’s death, have circulated for generations.
1. ADMIT AND ACCEPT THE LOSS
If your relationship has already ended, the first step to healing is acceptance. It’s over. It didn’t work. You tried. It’s over. Repeating to yourself that it’s over, and making your environment match the new era of singleness, helps you to accept and admit, instead of reminiscing, hoping to get back together, contacting the dumper, etc.
Make sure you express your anger, in a responsible, non-violent way, to get closure. Ask your ex if he or she understands how a surprise break-up, disloyalty, betrayal, lies, and or cheating, and etc., have disappointed, wounded and broken you. But don’t ask your partner to change. It’s over. Express yourself, because this is your last chance. You’ve moving on, but not without a calm confrontation that results in closure.
2. CHANGE YOUR ENVIRONMENT
Remove the person’s picture, clothing, and all other property and/or gifts and reminders. If this is hard for you. Go back to step one.
No contact includes social media. Quit interacting and viewing the person’s information. If possible, make another social media profile that does not include the person, their friends, or any other reminders. It’s over. Start over. Don’t cheat yourself out of your future by dwelling on the past.
3. NO CONTACT
Refuse to contact the person. If the person is contacting you and inviting you to sleep with him/her, and you’re not totally disgusted, please click here and read sign #2 that this person doesn’t love you. https://readthelore.wordpress.com/2012/12/18/heshe-doesnt-love-you-the-truth-about-your-relationship/ Next, love yourself enough to not be a booty call for someone who broke your heart. If you must encounter the person, be cordial, but consciously refuse to engage in conversation and do not try to connect in a meaningful way by gazing longingly at the person. Why put your energy toward something you’ve already lost? Instead, focus on your own goals, objectives, and other potential prospects. Sure, it’d be nice to let the person know you still care, but chances are, he or she is already thinking about someone else. Don’t play yourself.
You may not be perfect, but no one is! Accept yourself for who you are. When you’re confident in all of your attributes, you’ll attract the perfect mate.
4. STOP BLAMING YOURSELF/JUDGING YOURSELF
After you’ve mastered the above steps, you’re ready to remove all of your love energy from the failed relationship. Realize it’s not your fault. Everyone makes choices about whom they devote their lives to. Some people try harder than others, but whatever your ex chose to do is not your fault. It’s not your fault and you didn’t deserve it. In love, it’s never your fault. Love requires patience, devotion and a host of other responsibilities. If the person didn’t love or stopped loving you, it was their choice. It means they didn’t meet the qualifications so the position is now open. They might have done their absolute best. They could be mentally unstable. But that’s not your business anymore. Start looking forward to meeting new people so your thought patterns can slowly begin to change. Picture yourself being loved by the man/woman of your absolute wildest dreams.
Look great; feel great.
5. PAMPERING TIME
Begin to consciously pamper yourself. This includes immaculate care to grooming and dressing, which, when your heart is broken, can easily be neglected. Give yourself the royal treatment, even if you have to do it yourself. A happy medium is getting a good friend to provide a massage, a manicure or pedicure, a hair cut or style, or another pampering and physically enhancing treatment. Get back into the habit of putting ALL of your focus (or as much as you can) on yourself. Consciously set a goal of getting dressed to the best of your stylish ability each day, grooming and making yourself up to look your absolute best. This will boost your mood and confidence. Once you see how great you look, you’ll feel great. You’ll want to go out and let someone notice you. At this point, please return to rule #3 for good measure. Continue to be strong.
6. MEET NEW AND EXCITING PEOPLE YOU’VE NEVER SEEN!
Meet and talk to new people on purpose, even if you’re not ready to date. Tell them you’re in a relationship (just don’t tell them it’s with yourself) and that you just want to be friends. Not comfortable meeting strangers? Engage a co-worker, close friend, new friend, family member, neighbor, a hot girl or guy–anyone. You need to talk to someone who sees you as new, exciting and cool at the least, and if you can, spend time with close people who thing you are amazing. Be careful not to start something new when you’re not over your heartbreak.
7. Repeat the steps as needed. There’s no one way to beat heartbreak, but the tips above help you get back to a sense of yourself, love yourself, and open yourself to life without your ex. Everyone is someone’s ex. Who will be your next?
THE LORE 